Its 3am and I’m drifting into “the ether”.

The entrepreneur’s curse; I’m alone in the office pondering on my ambiguous horizon.

The problem is choice.

There is an easy but cinematic feeling in here. Twenty ticks off the wall clock, silence, a swig, more ticks, more silence, and another swig, then a dramatic mosaic of non-sequiturs. I’m yearning for the answer.

The problem is choice.

Is real CHOICE a luxury only for the elite? When you have finite resources (manpower, machinery, capital, time, technology etc) do you ever have a choice?

Factoring in the scarcity of resources, YMBK’s main challenge has been trying to balance the key success factors: Time (168 hours in a week), Energy (creativity, social responsibility, supporting fellow projects) and Money (consumption, savings and investments).

Systemic logic dictates that at different phases of an entrepreneurial project, greater emphasis has to be placed on each of these different key success factors; at strategic times depending on the relevant business needs. Assuming a business model (100%) is a function of the equal distribution between the critical success factors (Time 33.3%, Energy 33.3% and Money 33.3%), the nightmare arises from the balancing-act that is reality.

Start-up and set-up, for example, are capital intensive and may require the Money factor, to take up over 80% of the project meaning Energy and Time would both have to make up the remaining 20%. The introductory stage, on the other had, is normally not as capital intensive but rather may be made up mostly of the Energy factor with Money and Time both taking up less than 40%.

And so goes the story arch, everything is relative. Furious dexterity (factoring in this scarcity of resources), can reduce the apparent cost but the opportunity cost (unbeknown to me before the YMBK project) is ridiculously high. Entrepreneurship takes a huge toll on friendships and relationships.

I lack Shakespearean lyricism, but I will try to drive my point home.

Most small business’s highlight that defining the line, that demarcates the owner of the project from the entrepreneurial project itself as a major source of concern and difficulty. Legally, financially and philosophically, I’ve successfully managed to separate myself from the company because the YMBK brand is based on collective consciousness. Many people have helped make the YMBK brand a competitive force. YAMBUKA is bigger than Farai. Like most successful incumbent businesses the goal is to supplement deficiencies’ in capital by investing more Time and Energy into the project.

The dilemma is the high opportunity cost. I have had little Time and Energy to spare and this has caused me much pain because this takes away value from other personal growth opportunities.

The problem is choice. Change is the only constant, but failure is not an option. It is overwhelmingly difficult to re-direct my Time and Energy towards family and friends, not to the scale of neglect but just being there for others. It’s an area for improvement for me. It is heartbreaking not to be able to spend quality time with loved ones and to make sacrifices that are not guaranteed to give you back a return on investment.

What makes CHOICE a colossal and nightmarish quagmire for me, is that, I do not believe I have a choice. CHOICE is absent due to a combination of factors: my humble background, BRAND competition is gruesome, the window of opportunity is ever narrowing, popular - culture is forever changing, fashion is dynamic, the global recession is far from over, direct and indirect threats are consistent, true opportunities’ for wealth are rare, the free enterprise system is increasingly cut-throat and unforgiving and because of the uncertainty of the future.

Que Sera Sera.

We are all here to do what we are all here to do. We all have freewill, I acknowledge this, I am also aware that the opportunity cost (for the value I have to fore-go) is pricelessly high, but my conceptual trouble is compounded by the lack of CHOICE.

Upwards. Onwards. Always!

Farai